“Every morning I jump out of bed and step on a landmine. The landmine is me. After the explosion, I spend the rest of the day putting the pieces together. NOW IT"S YOUR TURN. JUMP”
― Ray Bradbury
"What are you doing now?"
In the past four years, this is the most heard question. If I am there for a marriage, a birthday party, a retirement party, or at any place where few of my so called, "relatives and family friends" gather, the only question I hear is this. I may be drinking water or talking to my not so needed relative or sometimes enjoying a cup of payasam. Many a times, I wished to say, "Can't you see? I am drinking a glass of water." Or sometimes, "No, am doing nothing." But as a part of the respect or a sort of fun I had in answering them, I said, "I am doing a PG, or I am doing some freelance jobs". No. The social codes are not constructed for those who work as freelance.
In social codes, freelance = jobless! So each time they meet me, they repeated!
Now I have thought several times about the purpose behind this question. Are they job donors? No. Will they sacrifice a meal for me? No. Do they owe me a future in some way? No. Then why this question? Man is constructed that way! Whats and why's are a part of it. Today I happened to be in one such place. Mostly I wish to avoid these parties! I know that they won't bring any happiness to me. So i just avoid. But accidentally today I was forced to be there. Even before someone thought of asking me, I replied, "No I am not doing anything!"
How do you survive? Came the next question. I smiled and left the place. Should I answer? I mean do I have to? To all those punk heads who wanted to know what am I or what I will be, here goes the answer.
I was born here some 25 years back without knowing that some of you may ask such unnecessary questions to me. Then, I was much innocent(!) Now don't ask me what you mean by innocent! I meant what you mean!
From then till here, my life was never as planned like yours. I went on doing some crap, as you may call now, lived my life in full spirit and enjoyed each full moon and rains!
I have never asked you that same question, what are you doing now! I will never ask you.
In my life, its me and me alone who decides how to live, how to earn or how to "SURVIVE"! If you have more questions, please keep it to yourself. Self introspection, once in a while is good. So go, do it.
Like you have seen me all these years, I have seen you too. We have met more than I have met a stranger. But still your question is so strange.
I believe you are normal and not an Alzheimer's patient. So please remember what I said last time!
I would like to thank you for the "concerns" you have on me as the "only girl" of my parents.
I am what I am! I will be what I want to be!
If you have still more concerns, please wait. I am no Nostradamus to predict my future and i live in a state where people are killed like chickens! SO PLEASE SPARE ME!
I know this may annoy all such "well-wishers". But I am helpless. I am fed up answering your questions! Now please SHUT UP & SLEEP TIGHT!
If at all I am doing something, which need your help and blessings, I will send an invite.
Please wait till then...
If again you ask me the same, my answer will be, FCUK OFF!
Aum
Anjana
